Welcome to Finish The Sentence Friday (FTSF #3), where we give you a sentence and you finish it (however long or short you’d like). Write a post and link it up, or if you don’t blog, feel free to finish the sentence in the comments for everyone to see.
Please Follow Your Hosts:
Janine @ Janine’s Confessions of a Mommyaholic
Kate @ Can I Get Another Bottle of Whine with My Morning Quiet Time
The sentence for this week:
“The last time I went on vacation, I…”
So, here goes…
The last time I went on vacation, I was still married to the man I divorced in 2001. We had a long road trip planned and expected to be on vacation for six weeks. So, we packed up the pop-up camper and mini-van, loaded up our four children (two were his, two were mine) and their clothing, and headed west on the highway.
The trip was to consist of many stops along the way, while traveling along one highway to California. On the return trip, we were planning to take a different highway back, with our final stop being at the Mall of America.
Because we had four children between us, we had to pack plenty of food to take with us, especially canned goods (maybe that’s what caused the brake problems in the mountains?). My husband was a country man and did not like to eat out very often, so we did our fair share of cooking on this trip.
During our trip, we were able to see places like the Grand Canyon, Carlsbad Cavern, Crazy Horse, Mount Rushmore, and Las Vegas, just to name a few.
One thing I wasn’t counting on was the affect this trip would have on my sex life with my husband. It wasn’t something I had even considered before going on this vacation. When you have six people sleeping in a pop-up camper, it becomes extremely difficult to ‘get it on’, to say the least. If we were just taking a week or two for this trip, the sex probably would have never been much of an issue, or should I say the lack of it? But six weeks is a long time for any man to go without it, so we had to be very creative in this area.
And, while he had a privacy curtain to block off our sleeping area, the thought of trying to have sex in bed without causing the camper to bounce and the kids to wake up was just not overly appealing.
We had been gone for about two weeks, when we reached New Mexico. We had it planned to visit Carlsbad Cavern the next day and see the Bat Flight.
Campgrounds in the area were scarce, so we had to settle for a park that had many, many other campers also staying there. The place was packed with people. And, because we had gotten there as late as we did, it was after midnight before we finished eating dinner, washed the dishes, and put the kids to sleep. We were also low on laundry, so I was able to wash a few loads in the small laundry facility that was available.
Because the campground was so busy, we decided it would be best to take our showers before we went to bed, so we wouldn’t have to wait in the lines of people in the morning, waiting for the hot water to be replenished.
Needless to say, my ‘sexual creativity’ got the best of me, and I suggested to my husband that maybe he might like to join me in the women’s bathroom for a shower together. My husband was the type of person that could become easily embarrassed, so despite his look of interest, he was afraid we would get caught and wanted to take his shower in the men’s bathroom.
I didn’t care about consequences at that moment and followed him into the men’s shower area. We were alone (the campground was finally quiet and most of the other campers were sleeping), and we jumped into a shower stall. Each shower stall had two shower curtains, an outer and an inner one. Between the shower curtains was a small dressing area with a bench to set our stuff on.
We had our fun, as quick as it was, and then finished taking our shower. We had just shut the water off and was drying off when we heard the bathroom door slam.
In a look of true panic, my husband just froze. We figured it was just another camper taking a quick ‘potty’ break, so we continued to dry off and get dressed as quietly as we could.
A few minutes had passed, and our ‘fellow camper’ was making plenty of noise, so my husband peaked out from behind the outer curtain to see what was going on. Our ‘fellow camper’ was no camper. In fact, he was the nighttime custodian for the campground and was there to clean the men’s bathroom.
SHIT! This could NOT be happening!
We waited awhile, until the janitor was cleaning toilet stalls, and I grabbed my stuff and made a run for the door. Apparently, the janitor heard the bathroom door slam and looked out from the stall he was in to see what the noise was about. He saw my husband, and it was apparent that he had not just ‘come in’ to the bathroom, but instead, was about to leave.
My husband said the look on the janitor’s look of confusion was priceless, but if he knew what was going on, he didn’t say anything.
My suggestion for taking six-week long camping trips, such as this, and still having a sex life? I have a few of them, actually:
- Make sure your car windows are tinted, for privacy purposes.
- Take your vacation right after you have a baby, then six weeks without sex is routine.
- Take a tent for the kids to sleep in.
- And don’t forget to be quiet! Shhh!