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So, I had an interesting experience take place yesterday, and I am still laughing about it today. I waited until today to tell the story, because yesterday was Blogging Day of Silence to honor the victims of the Newton, Connecticut school shooting. I follow certain other bloggers, and it was on Julie DeNeen’s that I learned about the Day of Silence.

And, while I have been in handcuffs before (get your mind out of the gutter), I usually deserved it. This time, however, was a bit of a surprise.

I bought my house in March 2012, and I try to avoid police contact at my home (I like getting along with my neighbors). My house is not in an uppity neighborhood, either, and it is not unusual to see police on my road. They have been here a number of times over my involvement in the Michael Terpening case, as well as in the neighborhood over neighbors fighting…someone shot so-and-so’s car with a BB gun, someone else’s kid was missing for part of the day, or someone’s dogs got in a fight

Back to what happened…I went into The Teenager’s bedroom to make sure there were no dirty dishes to be washed, as it was time for me to clean the kitchen. The Teenager does not like any of our dogs in his bedroom, so I shut the door behind me. After quickly scoping his bedroom and finding no dishes, I went to open the door and leave.

The door knob fell off in my hand. It’s an old door knob, and the screw that holds it on had fallen out. Seriously? I played with the door knob and could not find a way to get the door open. How was I going to get out?

I remembered his bedroom window didn’t have a screen in it, so I decided to exit through the window. I figured that would be easier than getting the door open. Of course, this window is the only one in the house that does not hold itself open. A stick or wooden board must be used in the summer to keep it open. Yee hah! This should be interesting! (The window is high off the ground, too.)

Luckily, The Teenager has a set of metal bunk beds that I could hang onto as I lowered myself out the window. Due to a back injury and a recent shoulder surgery, I knew I need to be careful in the way I climbed out the window.

I opened the window and placed my right foot outside, followed by my head and the right side of my body. I grabbed the bunk bed with my right hand, while using my left hand to keep the window open. I lowered myself to the ground, but my left foot got stuck in the window, which I had lost my grip on. Once I reached the ground, I was able to get my left foot out the window.

While I was doing this, I saw movement out of the corner of my eye. The mail woman was looking at me funny, and she wasn’t our usual carrier but a substitute. I didn’t think anything of it.

I went back into the house and tried to fix my son’s door knob but was unsuccessful and gave up after about 10 minutes.

I decided to go back outside and check the mailbox. When I turned the corner, I ran into the police, who handcuffed me behind my back (it’s on record not to handcuff me behind my back because of my shoulders). There were three police cars parked in front of my house, and a couple officers were talking to the neighbor. Apparently, the mail carrier called the police because she thought I was trying to break into my house (the usual mail carrier knows who I am).

The police asked what I was doing, and the conversation went like this:

Police: Excuse me, ma’am, who are you?

Me: Why, is there a problem?

Police: What is your name?

Me: Jennifer, why? What is the problem?

Police: Do you have your ID handy?

Me: Um, yeah, I happen to keep it in my pocket, as well as the deed to my house. Duh…my ID is in my wallet!

Police: We received a call that you are trying to break into this house. We need to detain you until we figure out what is going on.

(click, click of the handcuffs)

Me: Are you kidding me? I wasn’t breaking into my house, I was breaking out of it. What the hell!

Police: Well, if this is your house, we can follow you inside while you get your ID?

Me: I’d love to, but I have five dogs in there, two of which are pit bulls, and while they won’t attack you, they will jump and become overly excited. No way are you shooting my dogs because you think they are being ‘aggressive’ with you.

Police: Then, we are going to have to take you downtown and book you.

Me: If you’d take the handcuffs off, I can run in and grab my wallet. As you can see, I have no coat on either.

(I live in Michigan, and it is cold in the winter here.)

Police: We can’t allow you to go inside alone, ma’am.

Me: Officer, I’m telling you, this is my house. I own it and have been living her since March. I would suggest you take these damn handcuffs off of me, or you will be talking to my attorney. I am on file as someone who cannot be handcuffed behind my back. I just had shoulder surgery!

Police: Sorry, ma’am. I can’t do that. I have to be able to verify this information, and you’re not giving us anything to work with. You are supposed to have your ID on your person.

Me: Even when I am at home? SERIOUSLY? Ask any of the neighbors, they all know who I am.

As I was about to come unglued on the police officers, a fourth patrol car pulled up. This officer recognized me, as he works in this neighborhood frequently. Thank goodness, or I was about to be led off to the county jail.

And that, my friends, is how I almost went to jail breaking out my own house.

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