join us for Finish the Sentence Friday
Welcome to Finish The Sentence Friday (FTSF #4), where we give you a sentence and you finish it (however long or short you’d like). Write a post and link it up, or if you don’t blog, feel free to finish the sentence in the comments for everyone to see.
Please Follow Your Hosts:
Janine @ Janine’s Confessions of a Mommyaholic
Kate @ Can I Get Another Bottle of Whine with My Morning Quiet Time
And, your co-hosts:
Stephanie @ Mommy, For Real
Dawn @ Dawn’s Disaster
The sentence for this week:
“When I was younger, I tried…”
So, here goes, yet again, for Finish the Sentence Friday…
When I was younger, I tried so hard to be older than I really was. Who would have thought, then, that as an adult, I would wish to be younger again.
I really didn’t enjoy most of my childhood for reasons I have yet to discuss in my blog. I was always doing *dumb* things to act older than I was. It didn’t really matter what I was doing, as long as it made me appear ‘older.’
So, I have provided a list of things I did when I was younger, to try and appear much older than I truly was. Most of these experiences happened before I reached puberty.
the famous pantyhose in an egg
- Remember when L’eggs pantyhose came in those little plastic egg containers? Yeah, those egg halves were my first set of breasts. I wanted boobs, so I would stick the egg halves in my training bra, one piece in each cup, even though it caused me to have one boob that was bigger than the other. I cursed my adulthood as a child, because today, I still have one boob bigger than the other!
- I was already shaving my legs before my mother gave me the ‘OK’ to do so. Instead of waiting for my mom to help me, I chose to do it myself and left a deep gouge in my leg as a result. Hiding that shit from Mom was quite a feat!
- I chopped off my bangs when I was five years old, because Mom was getting ready to trim my long, beautiful blonde hair. I thought I would help her out when she received a phone call. Needless to say, this did not help me ‘grow up’ faster. It only caused my mom to chop off all my tresses so that I had a boy hair-do.
- In junior high, I wanted braces because I did not have perfectly straight teeth. My parents preferred to pay tuition to keep us in private schools, so braces were not in the family budget. I thought having a retainer looked ‘cool’, so I made my own retainer out of a large, metal paperclip. It worked, until another student at school told me to show her my ‘retainer’ because she didn’t think it looked real.
- As a little girl, I loved babies. If a woman at church had a new baby, chances are I was chasing her around begging to hold her precious little cargo. Even at the age of 5, I would eagerly nod my head and try to convince the new mother that I would NEVER drop her baby. I think that was also the age I asked my mom when I could have a baby of my own (out of the mouths of babes, right?). I’m surprised she didn’t veer the car into oncoming traffic that day from shock. She did let me start babysitting when I was 12 years old, though, after being allowed to work in the church nursery for a year.
- When I was around 8 years old, I convinced my 7-year old brother that we needed to pack our clothes in a garbage bag and run away from home. So, we each packed one garbage bag of clothes and took off on our bicycles with our freedom in sight. That didn’t work because we ran as far as our grandparents’ church, where my grandpa happened to be doing yard work. He just sent us right back home. To meet the Monster Ass Whooper (my mom and her spankings…I still have nightmares from that shit).
- As a teenager, I wanted someone who I could love that would love me back. That resulted in Baby #1, who was born a few weeks before my 17th birthday.
- As a teenager, I wanted someone who I could love that would love me back. That resulted in Baby #2, who was born just after I turned 18.
- I started smoking cigarettes when I was 15. Those boobs I wanted so badly? I had enough to make up for two females by this age (not to mention, I looked much older than 15). I could go into any store and buy cigarettes as a teenager.
- I had my first apartment before I got pregnant with my second child. I was 17 years old.
I think you are getting the picture…I was a very twisted, crazy little girl.
I mean, I really wanted to grow up too fast.
Today? I am finding out that I don’t want to grow any older. I miss the teenage years and high school (especially now that I am friends on Facebook with the cool, popular kids that didn’t want to be my friends back then). I went to a very cliquey high school, and many of the kids came from rich families. There were generally a few types of groups to choose from:
- The rich kids, who wore Guess jeans and drove a Cadillac to school.
- The computer nerds, who were the brains and earned high GPAs.
- The ‘stoners’, well, they are obvious. They were the ones who skipped school, hung around outside the back door smoking their cigarettes between classes, and did plenty of weekend drinking and recreational drugs.
- The geeks. PERIOD. No explanation is needed on this one.
Not me, I was trailer trash from the ONLY trailer park that has ever graced the map of Richland, Michigan. And, while I had a high GPA, I was not dedicated enough to be a computer nerd. And, while I had a high GPA, I was not rich enough to wear Guess jeans and drive a Cadillac to school. And, while I had a high GPA, I was not dorky enough to fit in with the geeks. And, while I had a high GPA, I finally lost that high GPA because I was getting high (introducing marijuana) with the only group who truly accepted me – The Stoners!!!
Not exactly a healthy way to ‘grow up’ quickly, that’s for sure!
If you like my blog, I would be forever grateful if you took a moment to vote for me at Top Mommy Blogs. I know I am definitely not a ‘top mommy’, but I am a mommy. Is that good enough?
That picture of the Legg’s container totally brought back memories for me. I remember having them and wearing them with my Catholic School uniform on cold days (otherwise we had to wear knee high socks), but like you I tried to grow up sooner and now wish I could stop aging. Great post and thanks for linking up again!!
No problem, Janine! I love this blog hop. It sure has made me search through the dark corners of my memories to find stories I haven’t thought about in years. Thanks for including me.
Wow! I admire you. Two kids at 18 will make you grow up. I was always afraid of the little buggers – like I WOULD drop them. Oh, I actually did drop my baby sister once when I was twelve on a set of concrete stairs. I think that was my “maybe I shouldn’t have a kid” moment. haha. Awesome post!
Thanks, Cyndi. I wrote an earlier post about abortion and adoption. I wrote it on the 15th, my daughter’s 19th birthday. We chose adoption because I was too young to raise both of the kids on my own. She inspires me, and we have a relationship today.
i voted for you. Great post!!! The retainer had me laughing out loud, especially when you got caught. This is a very transparent and vulnerable post. I loved it.
Lots of AA meetings taught me humility and how to speak the truth, even if it embarrasses me…lol. I used to have to drink to talk to others like this…now, I have to drink to shut up. And, since I don’t drink anymore…hmm…lol
And Kate, thanks so much for the vote and for taking time to read my post today. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
gosh…this was hilarious Jen. I was in a Catholic school and we were minutely assessed each morning so, could not be as adventurous as you
Thank you! I was raised mostly in private Christian schools and was bounced around a lot between schools. So, when I was finally turned loose into the public school environment, I hid behind the scenes and was afraid to speak in front of people for fear they would label me as ‘crazy’ or ‘weird’. I was a weird child who became an even weirder adult. I am glad to have overcame that shyness, life is so much more fun when you ‘blurt out indiscretions’, as Julie would say…lol.
Almost cried from laughing at the thought of the L’Eggs-stuffed bra. Not only were the halves different sizes, but they were different shapes too and, of course, hard as could be. Man, I don’t miss wearing those things!! The stockings that is, not the containers.
[#FTSF]
Lol…yes, I was quite the character, probably still am. If anyone would have told me I would be cursed with my mother’s breasts, I wouldn’t have been so quick to pretend I had them, that’s for sure. Anyone need some ‘filler’? Breast transplant? I have plenty to give (I really dislike them now)!!
I hear that! I don’t think I’ve gone braless since I was 11! Just woke up one day and bam, where did those come from?!?! So many cool clothes you can’t wear when sporting huge tah tahs LOL.
Haha! So very true. Thanks for the Breast Overload, mom!!
Great post – love the masses of honesty. Sounds like you had some tough stuff to deal with – glad you came through to the point where you can share it with strangers for their entertainment – it helps those unknowns at the end of the internet to know they’re not the only crazies out there. Thanks.
Really? I’M NOT THE ONLY CRAZY OUT THERE? I did not know this. Thanks for making my day!!
loved the social strata… the terms (for the groups shift with time) but the main thing seems to be, (anyone) who can identify more than one clique is not a member of any of them…lol (at least not a *natural* member… so of us outsider types might on occasion manage an un-easy alliance but, at least for me…never a part of the groups
good post
Aww…thanks, Clark! It was nice of you to read it and leave a comment. Hope your weekend is starting out well.
LOVE the Leggs container! And I’m not embarrassed to admit that I took your paperclip retainer a step further and not only had the paperclip, but I chewed up Christmas tree tinsel until it was flat, then cut it into squares and then put the squares underneath the tinsel. Ta da! Braces!
But some jerk of a boy called me out on it, too. Sigh.
NO WAY! Haha! That is too funny! I’m definitely not THAT creative…lol. Leave it to those stupid boys…
I always wanted to grow up fast too. I thought I never fit in and figured in the real world, people wouldn’t be able to judge me. I was wrong. People still judge, there is still a popularity group when your an adult and we all still struggle to fit in. I never fit in with any of the groups at school, so I always said I was granola… I could pretty much go anywhere!
Isn’t that camouflage? lol…no, seriously, I went through the same stuff. I felt like the black sheep that no one could really like. I was easily persuaded, not exactly leader material.
I went through many hard knocks to become who I am today. But, I am grateful for how those hard knocks turned into something better later on. Like, being right here right now. Someplace I have really grown to love over the last year. Telling stories to help one person’s day.
Thanks for stopping by Stacy!!
I loved the openness of this post as you recall memories both good and not so good…oh and do I remember Leggs!
Thank you! I have only managed to visit a few blogs today, but I will be sure to visit those I missed by morning and leave comments, as well, in case I missed yours.
You would have fit right in in Alaska.
I’ve thought about visiting Alaska, but it is SO far away from my friends and family. Someday, I will be leaving Michigan, but I want warm year round, not cold and snow.